The advice in this article is distilled from my time hosting rope jams and workshops at Embodiment Rope Space in Cape Town , South Africa – the first space of its kind to open here. If you’re looking at growing the rope community where you are, here are some things to consider…
Establish your ethos
I think starting with intention is very important. What do you want to build? Why do you want to build it? Who do you want it to benefit? What can you offer? Where are your limitations? What are your boundaries? What are your needs? The community culture you ultimately build will be based on these intentions, abilities, boundaries and needs.
To answer my own questions: after a few years of teaching rope at ad-hoc jams, I opened a rope space. I wanted to build it as a safe(r) space for LGBTQIA+ South Africans and allies to come and explore co-creating pleasure and healing through rope. I can offer education on rope fundamentals, scene-building, communication and negotiation, and I can create space for international rope educators to share their skills. I am limited by a lack of exposure to the global rope community and in terms of who may feel safe to share space with me. I will not hold space for bigots or those who do not take accountability for causing harm. I need support from my community in the form of administration work, encouragement and holding me accountable for my own actions.
These answers led me to develop Embodiment’s ethos , which I welcome you to read.
I think that being clear and intentional about your offering is very powerful and important work.
Illustrator: Eysar Vargas The ethos dictates all parts of how our events are run. It dictates what we teach and how we teach it. It is the thread that runs through how we set up ticketing for our events, the physical space we have chosen to run events from and the rules we set for events. It informs our code of conduct and how we handle harassment, consent violation reports and conflicts. I think that being clear and intentional about your offering is very powerful and important work.
Ask for help
Including your community in organizing and holding space gives them a meaningful buy-in to what you are creating. It was difficult for me to ask for help initially because I didn’t fully trust that others could hold this precious, fragile and beautiful thing as I could. Once I let go of my tight grip on the reins, the space grew and flourished under the care that others have given it.
Including your community in organizing and holding space gives them a meaningful buy-in to what you are creating.
That said, be very mindful of who you involve and allow these relationships to develop slowly and organically. As soon as you share responsibility with others, be prepared to hold each other accountable. Discuss and develop a code of conduct for yourselves in the space. Be aware that when people are put in positions of power (and being a space-holder is a kind of power), more care is required to ensure that this power is not abused.
Be aware of your cultural context
Rope is a deeply privileged practice. We have tried to account for this by introducing tiered pricing for events. We have mutual support tickets available for LGBTQIA+, differently-abled/disabled people, Black people and people of color who need a discount. This is our way of redressing the inequities in our country while signalling to those purchasing these tickets that we are trying to be intentional about cultivating space for them. That said, not everyone will feel welcome in your space, based on factors that are often outside of your control.
It is my job to be aware... and be open to feedback on how to make the space feel safer for people who don’t look like me or benefit from the same privileges as I do.
Illustrator: Eysar Vargas Pretty early on in my journey of hosting events, I noticed that the jams I hosted were disproportionately white. As I became more visibly queer, these jams became more attended by queer people. However, I had to accept that as a white South African woman, a descendant of colonizers, despite my best efforts to be inclusive and lower the barrier to entry to people from backgrounds and experiences different to mine, my presence might not be what I desire it to be. In fact, my very presence can be discomforting, even threatening, in spaces where fostering vulnerability is the aim. It is my job to be aware of this and be open to feedback on how to make the space feel safer for people who don’t look like me or benefit from the same privileges as I do. If you carry unearned privilege in your cultural context, think about how that affects the space that you are holding, and try to account for it. Sometimes this means removing yourself from spaces to meet the need.
Don’t compare yourself to other communities
I think this is especially true for those of us who start organizing in geographically isolated communities and are immersed in complex social issues. You will not be able to have the same variety of events or depth of education as more established communities with easy access to international presenters. There is a lot to celebrate about starting something at all – it isn’t easy to create something impactful. Celebrate all of the victories you have, big and small.
Get your own cup filled
It is really, really important that in the work you do for the broader community, you make sure your needs are also being met. I need to get input into my rope practice. I need to be tied and played with – nothing energizes me quite like being in rope. I need to disengage completely from rope sometimes and know that the whole operation won’t just fall over. I need to know that people in the space are having a good time. I need to make some money from the effort that I put into teaching and holding space, so that it becomes sustainable for me to do so. Only if your own cup is full can you overflow into the cups of your community. Remember to make space and time for your own joy.
